Gifts and surprises bring immense joy and happiness, making us feel loved and special. But what if the conversation with loved ones turns out to be awful at the end of the day?
A user used the forum and asked, Am I a jerk for forgetting what I did for my Husband for Father’s Day last year?
BACK STORY
The original poster ( OP ) and her Husband were married for ten years, and they have three kids, 8, 6, and 3 years old.
OP feels she has a specific taste, and her husband is terrible at giving gifts and surprises. She adds that she has to coach him about what he wants for anniversaries, birthdays, and Christmas.
OP GOT SURPRISED!
To her surprise, OP’s Husband arranged a beautiful surprise for her this Mother’s Day.
Her husband had made kids make hand-made cards, made her breakfast in the bed, and took kids out to let her get an mani-pedi and relax. He also brought her a bottle of wine and fancy cheese and chocolate.
WHAT’S NEXT?
On Mother’s Day night, after the kids went to bed, OP thanked her Husband and expressed her happiness.
Her Husband told her that OP deserved it. And OP’s Husband also added that he hopes that OP will do something similar this Father’s Day.
When OP’s Husband told her this, she was confused and asked what it meant.
LAST FATHER’S DAY
OP’s husband asked her if she remembered what she had gifted him last Father’s Day. But OP did not remember what she gifted him for last Father’s Day.
Then OP’s Husband reminded her that she didn’t gift him anything. OP finally remembered that she attended her sister’s wedding last Father’s Day. Her younger sister had a child-free and out-of-state marriage last June, which happened to be on Father’s Day weekend.
She also added that she was the maid of honor at the wedding. As the kids couldn’t join her, OP’s Husband stayed home with them.
WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
She added that she intended to do something for him but forgot it. OP also expressed that her Husband must have brought this to her.
OP felt attacked when her Husband asked what she did for the last Father’s Day.
Still, OP apologized for not giving him anything last Father’s Day. And added that she doesn’t appreciate being put in a spot like this. She also accepts her fault and adds that she had so many things on her mind last year. Thus, she forgot to give him anything.
OP also expressed that her Husband doesn’t have to rub it on her face after a perfect Mother’s Day.
WHAT’S NEXT?
OP asked her Husband why he didn’t bring up this with her earlier. Her Husband replied that it was not his responsibility to remind her of these things.
OP’s Husband also added that he figured out that if he discussed this with her, OP would get defensive and make excuses.
OP’s Husband didn’t stop there, and he also reminded her that OP didn’t give him anything for his birthday. To which OP replied that she didn’t forget, but the gift was delivered late.
But here is the twist. OP’s Husband had access to their prime account, and he saw that she didn’t order anything until his birthday.
YOU ARE A JERK!
In the end, OP told her Husband that he was being a jerk for ruining a perfect Mother’s Day. OP’s Husband replied that he was not trying to be a jerk, but he wanted to feel that there was reciprocation for these sorts of things.
At last, OP felt that her Husband did all these surprises so that he could rub it on her face for not giving anything last Father’s Day.
YOU ARE NOT GREAT AT IT!
“I’m guessing that she makes him feel a certain kind of way when he doesn’t do enough for her. Her comments of “he’s notoriously a bad gift giver” probably left him salty when she seems like she’s also not great at it.
He’s being smug by giving her a taste of her own medicine. Yes, it’s petty. But I get it. She hurt his feelings, so he hurts hers. There is more to work on than gift-giving in their relationship.”
YOU DON’T VALUE YOUR HUSBAND:
“Oh snap, I missed that part. I was with OP until I read about her forgetting his birthday. Like the Father’s Day thing was understandable, she was MOH in her sister’s wedding, and it slipped her mind. Hell, I’m a forgetful person myself.
However, to ALSO forget his bday…well, that shows me that she doesn’t really value her Husband. And to have the nerve to complain about him being crappy at choosing gifts AND give him a backhanded compliment about him stepping up….that takes some balls to say, as OP certainly hasn’t stepped up…sheesh, at least HE remembers to get OP gifts.”
YOU ARE WRONG!
“OP is the very definition of “the pot calling the kettle black” Bad talks about how her Husband gives gifts yet does absolutely nothing for holidays celebrating him.
Then when called out, it plays like they are the victim somehow. OP is not a great partner from the sounds of it; learn to be responsible.”
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This article originally appeared on Mrs Daaku Studio.