Is it okay to uninvite your sister to your wedding over a dress?

A netizen recently asked, “Am I a jerk for telling my sister she shouldn’t come to my wedding if she refuses to wear a bridesmaid dress?”. We need to hear your thoughts. 


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The Original Poster (OP) is planning a lovely bridesmaid entourage consisting of her beautiful sister and cousins for her wedding. They are all on perfect terms.


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Today, OP told her sister she thought of navy blue dresses for bridesmaids. OP sent her a couple of pics very enthusiastically. 

“I thought it was elegant. It matches with the suits and gives a nice pop to the white wedding dress on pics”, says OP. 


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The response from OP’s sister was instant. She said, “You can’t be serious! I won’t wear that. Everyone will hate that, or do you want all of us to look like idiots? 

I heard there are weddings where the bride wants to make bridesmaids look intentionally bad. That’s probably your plan.”


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OP’s sister said her ‘color type’ is ‘autumn,’ and navy looks the worst on that complexion. She (the sister) said OP’s cousins are also autumn, and OP will make them look bad, too.


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After OP’s heart sank, she started looking for alternate colors on this ‘season’s color wheel’ thing. OP sent her a couple of alternatives, suggested shades of deep blues, but OP’s sister replied that in that case, she doesn’t want to be OP’s bridesmaid; she wants to be pretty.

“She would attend all the getting ready with the girls but won’t wear the matching dress,” says OP. 


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OP read somewhere that this happens in bridal parties. There is usually one difficult person. 

“The usual suggestion is to ask them to step down as bridesmaids. It obviously didn’t come to that for me as my sister stepped down without discussion, ” says OP. 


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She believes that OP should care about people feeling good at her wedding, and OP doesn’t have much empathy.


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OP cried for a bit, and then she told her sister,

“Honestly, after this, I will have a sad and angry feeling whenever I look at her at the wedding. In her pretty dress, she was satisfied with herself at my expense and maybe it’s best if she’s not there then.”

Is OP the jerk here? 


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“Not the jerk, remove your sister from the bridal party, go with the color you have chosen. It’s your wedding, not hers. If she wants to attend the ‘girls getting ready,’ she needs to accept her responsibilities and dress like the rest. 

You don’t get to do the ‘fun’ stuff if you’re not at the bridal party. You, as the bride, do not have to have anyone there that you don’t want that will make you sad when you look back on the pictures.” 


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“Not the jerk. That’s really out of proportion. Navy dresses are a neutral choice, and your sister’s reaction is over the top.” 


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“Not the jerk. Your sister is a brat. She’s also not the main character at your wedding. If she dropped out, as much as it may hurt, that’s her choice. You tried to appease her, and she still wasn’t happy. That’s not your fault.”


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“You’re the jerk. You’d rather your sister stay away from your wedding just because she won’t wear the dress you want her to? She’s your family, not a bridal accessory.

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