Everyone has a patience limit, and sometimes, treating jerk-ish people how they treat others is the only way out!
A netizen recently asked, “Am I a jerk for pulling a wig off and making my guests plus one leave crying?”. Here’s the whole story for you to find out!
BACKSTORY
The Original Poster (OP) (26F) had a bachelorette party on Saturday. It was a homely affair, as OP is not the type to go out on the town to get drunk.
“It was a dinner for people I know and their guests at the church recreation center, which my parents spent a lot of money on to make it seem nice. A gift opening followed it,” says OP.
THE UNWELCOME GUEST
At this party, one of OP’s friends, Siobhan, brought Helen. Someone OP is not close to, but she is in the “friend group.” About two years ago, OP slowly started to distance herself from Helen as she has shown some jealous tendencies that she masks as others being jealous of her. She is two years older than OP.
“I have never liked her, but you have to respect the ‘plus one’ of your guests even though she wasn’t on the RSVP list. Or at least that is what my mother taught me”, says OP.
DURING THE GIFT OPENING
During the gift opening, Helen made some remarks about how so and so decided to wear the same shoes as her because she gets copied a lot for her fashion sense.
“She also remarked about ‘cheap extensions’ another guest wore and said the skirt of my 18-year-old niece was too short as children shouldn’t wear ‘such clothing’ and it’s not lady-like to show skin (she was wearing a thigh-length silver dress with sequins and open back),” says OP.
OP took Siobhan aside as Helen was her guest and told her to keep Helen under control. She promised she would.
WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
When they cleared the floor for dancing, instead of helping, Helen went around and pulled down OP’s “ratty decorations.”
“I asked her politely to leave if this wasn’t her scene. She turned around and accused me of taking her leftovers as she said she had hooked up with Andrew (my fiance’s name is Michael, Andrew is his three years older brother),” says OP.
She patted OP’s stomach and said, “Yup, you are pregnant, and why else would you be getting married before me!”
MORE PROBLEMATIC COMMENTS
Helen even commented on OP waiting until the last year of her secondary school to get taller than her to steal away all the boys’ attention to spite her (OP is 5’5, and she is 5’0).
“I had a growth spurt that I could not control. Helen picked at my hairdo and said I even copied her hair color (the natural auburn I have had all my life),” says OP.
THE CLIMAX
She (OP) didn’t hit her, but she did grab her by the hair to drag her towards the door, as she kept knocking OP’s hand away from her when OP tried to grab her by the arm. That’s when the wig came off. She ran out on her own, crying.
IS OP THE JERK?
“Am I a jerk for dragging her by the hair, which caused her to be embarrassed? My mother thinks I am not the best host, and my generation is too individualistic to host with manners. Siobhan said I should have let her come out of the toilet instead of dealing with it myself, as Helen has been feeling down lately.
The guy she was with dumped her a few months ago after two years because he didn’t want to get married, but Helen found out that he was getting married to the girlfriend he had been with for two months. Of course, that made the evil side rear its head. Siobhan said I was quite insensitive,” says OP.
THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR HER BEHAVIOR
“Not the jerk. You asked your friend to take control of the situation, which they didn’t. It wasn’t just one incident; and it was numerous remarks. It would help if you were furious at the friend who brought Helen. There is no excuse for her behavior, and the first remark should have been her last.”
SHE GOT WHAT SHE DESERVED
“Not the jerk. Helen got what she deserved. Also, to address your mom, her generation kicks people out for stupidity all the time. Her generation expects younger people to be more tolerant of rudeness because they want a generation they can walk all over.”
YOU CAN’T BE A DOORMAT
“Not the jerk. The friend who took her as a plus one would be uninvited to the wedding if it were me. You were beyond patient. You were a good host. You can’t be a doormat. This woman is vile.”
ENOUGH IS ENOUGH
“Not the jerk. No matter what has happened in her life recently, it’s no excuse to behave like she did. That’s where a grave lack of manners was shown. You tolerated her for the longest time, but enough is enough, and you were right to throw her out.”
SHE WAS AT FAULT
“Feeling down is no excuse to be a rude, mean, nasty guest. Was it dramatic for you to pull her by the hair? Yes. Did she deserve it? Yes. I can’t believe anyone is defending Helen or her hair. Your friends or mom should have told her to shut up or leave long before you de-wigged her.”
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This article was originally published on Mrs. Daaku Studio.