When a woman tells her brother’s wife that she was not a good wife, it can lead to tension and conflict in the family.
A user asked, Am I wrong for telling my sister-in-law’s husband that she used to be a hooker?
Backstory
The Original Poster’s (OP) sister-in-law, let’s call her Sarah, has always been kind of mysterious about her past.
How Is The Relationship With The Brother
She’s been married to OP’s brother for a few years now, and they seem happy together. But OP always had this feeling that there was something she wasn’t telling us.
What Happened Next
Well, a few months ago, OP ran into one of Sarah’s old acquaintances at a party. They had too many drinks and ended up spilling the beans.
What Was The Secret
Sarah used to be a hooker. She had done it for a few years before she met OP’s brother, but had kept it a secret from him and the rest of the family.
How Did OP React
OP was shocked when she heard this, and didn’t know what to do. OP says, “I didn’t want to cause any drama, but I also felt like my brother had a right to know. So, after much deliberation, I decided to tell him.”
What Happened Next?
Needless to say, OP’s brother was devastated. He felt like Sarah had lied to him and betrayed his trust. He confronted her about it, and they had a huge fight. Sarah is now saying that OP had no right to tell her brother and that it was her past and not her place to share it.
But OP’s brother had a right to know, especially since Sarah had kept it a secret for so long. OP wants to know if she did anything wrong.
It Wasn’t Your Place
“You should have spoken to her and asked her to inform your brother if you were worried. You don’t know what drove her to sex work or what kind of mental space she was at the time. If she’s tried not to talk about it, it’s probably not a time she’s proud of.
You said they were happy together. You should have given her the chance to tell himself and been empathetic as to why someone would want to hide a past like that. People change.”
You Should Have Asked Her
“Yta it wasn’t any of your business in the first place, and unless she had some disease which I’m sure she got tested for when she stopped doing it before getting married, what affect did it even have on her marriage to your brother?
I sure hope when you get married, someone come along to air your past trauma and dirty laundry and destroys your marriage for no reason other than some weird sense of superiority and lack of boundaries.”
You Are Not A Jerk
‘She shoulda told him long ago imo, no secrets in a healthy marriage.”
You Did Right
“Not wrong; you did the right thing telling your brother about his wife’s past. Should have been able to make an informed decision on whether he wanted a relationship with a sex worker.
If it’s no big deal, then why didn’t she say something herself at the beginning of the relationship?”
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This article was originally published on Mrs Daaku Studio.