Navigating the teenage years can be a challenge for parents and teenagers alike. As teenagers explore their identities and search for independence, they may test boundaries and push against authority figures.
This can be frustrating for parents, but it is important to remember that it is a normal part of development.
But how far is too far when it comes to teaching them discipline? We want to hear from you. A user shared her story and asked the forum ‘Am I wrong for sending my niece to go live with her other uncle?”
Here Is The Backstory For You:
The original poster’s (OP) sister-in-law passed away 12 years ago, and her brother passed away 4 years ago. They had a daughter who is 13 years old as of today.
What Happened Next
After the OP’s brother passed away, both the OP and her sister-in-law’s brother tried to adopt the niece.
It is important to remember that the OP clearly mentions that the niece didn’t have much of a relationship with her mom’s family. That is why, the OP was obviously a better choice, and she adopts the niece at the end.
What Happened That Let The OP Send Her Away?
The niece has supposedly developed an annoying habit of saying she would instead go and live with her other uncle whenever there is a disagreement.
The OP confidently says that “I know she doesn’t mean it because
- She barely knows her other uncle
- I have a high-paying job and can provide things that most people aren’t able to provide, so she is too spoiled to be able to live with anyone else.”
What Happened Next
Approximately a week ago, the niece repeated it and said she would instead live with her other uncle. The OP lost her cool and asked her to pack a bag. The niece went to her room quietly.
Related: Sister Made Homemade Food For Everyone Except Her Brother’s Stepdaughter. We Think She Is Justified.
An hour later, the OP went to her room and asked if she was ready to leave. At this point, the niece said she didn’t mean what she said and didn’t want to go.
What Did OP Do
The OP reinstated that she should go anyway, stay for a week, and then tell the OP if she wants to stay there or come back home.
The niece said again that she already knew where she wanted to stay, but the OP told her to get in the car and drove her to the uncle’s place.
Related: She Told Her Husband To NOT Expect The Daughter To Do What He Asks. We Think She Is Right.
What Happened After A Week
After a week, the OP called and asked if she wanted to come home.
She said yes; however, she hadn’t talked to the OP. When the family heard of what happened, they found OP in the wrong and were mad at her.
You Are A Jerk
“I had this upbringing. I was ‘adopted’ by relatives who would pull this “I don’t have to keep you” shit any time I was a normal bratty adolescent. Now I have abandonment issues. You are a jerk”
She Needed Reassurance
“I love you kiddo, you’re stuck with me.
She just wants reassurance that you are a constant in her life and that you want her. Her parents both left (under unfortunate circumstances) and she needs you to be her safe place. Kids test boundaries, and now she knows if she pushes you too hard you’ll leave too.”
You Created The Problem
“YOU created this problem with her because YOU spoiled her instead of parenting her. You are a jerk”
You Broke Her Trust
“As the kid who got moved around a lot between divorced parents who used to say stuff like this, I get that saying what she said is bad. But the fact that you so easily passed her off to the next person broke her trust. You need to apologize and earn that back.”
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