Women can feel uncomfortable asking a man for something or expressing their boundaries by communicating clearly and assertively expressing their needs. So men need to understand and do things mindfully.
An internet user asked on a popular platform, Am I wrong for manspreading on a plane?
Backstory:
The Original Poster (OP) is a 26-year-old male alone on a long flight for 6 hours. OP had a middle seat between a young woman (20-year-old female) in the window seat and a woman (30-year-old) on the side.
OP is tall and uncomfortable on most plane journeys. He says, “my knees always dig into the seat in front, and it can be quite painful. I usually try to walk around the airport before flights to stretch my legs, but I neglected to do so this time. It was Spirit airlines, so even less legroom than usual.”
What Happened Next?
About half an hour after takeoff, OP found his left knee inching to the side for the sweet relief of open space — specifically, the no-man’s-land in between seats, level with the shared armrest. OP wasn’t paying attention to his knee the entire time.
What Does OP Say
OP agrees and says, “I’ll concede it’s possible that at some point, I was occupying space that rightfully belonged to my window seat neighbor. All was well for ~2 hours.“
At this point, the woman in the window seat called over the flight attendant. She asked, “Could you tell him to keep his freaking leg in his own freaking seat?“
What Did OP Do?
With horror, OP understood she was talking about him and instantly retracted his leg in deep shame.
She added something as a snide reference to the idea that spreading your legs is about male comfort. According to OP, she needed to speak more clearly, and the flight attendant seemed to need help understanding her. The flight attendant asked her a clarifying question, but she didn’t answer, and eventually, the attendant went away.
What OP Has To Say?
OP says, “I had been shocked into silence, but when the flight attendant left, I frantically began apologizing. But she refused to speak to me. She acted like she didn’t hear me. Instead, she started furiously texting on her phone (yeah, texting during a flight. I thought it was weird too). The Aisle Seat woman said she had some extra space on her side I could use but then promptly went to sleep. Oh well.”
OP tried again to apologize to the woman on the window seat, but again she ignored him. OP went from embarrassed to being confused. OP kept replaying it in his head, wondering why she didn’t simply ask him to move my knee instead of calling over the attendant.
What Happened Next
OP started sneaking peeks at her phone. He says his defense is that he was baffled by her behavior and wanted answers.
He admits that he was being judgmental, too and says, she spent the last 3 hours of the flight watching tiktoks about shaming obese people and texting someone she called Papi. I didn’t see all of it, but a significant portion was definitely about me; she wrote, “Men really are too much sometimes,” with a laughing emoji.”
She ignored OP the whole flight, and OP ignored her. He wants to know if he did anything wrong?
What Do You Think
What do you think? Was OP right in getting too comfortable on the airplane? Was it wrong for the woman to call the flight attendant instead of just asking him to retract his legs?
You Are A Jerk
“You are a jerk.
1: this is a known, reoccurring issue. You KNOW you will feel better with more leg space. Stop pinching Pennie’s and pay for an aisle or exit seat. There are options!
2. By wanting the woman to tell you if she is bothered by your invasion of her space, you make it her responsibility instead of just not doing it. Women can feel too vulnerable to confront a tall guy (your admission) by themselves, especially when they are stuck at the window seat and cannot exit if the guy gets angry. She didn’t call the attendant to tell you to move, she called her to have an authority figure to help her make a point.
She Is a Woman
“You are a jerk; of course, she wouldn’t nicely tell you about it. Do you know how that can turn out for a woman? I wouldn’t risk it. I would’ve gotten up and talked to the attendant privately for the same fear of you overhearing the complaint. But if you know there’s not enough room, book a seal with more room.
I’m a big girl. I only fly if I’ve booked an extra seat. I don’t really need it, I can squeeze between armrests, but no one wants to be in the seat beside me because its not as roomy (I always get window and lean into the window). But I do it because I know it could impact others depending on the seat size since it varies by airline. All planes I’ve fit so far, but I’m not willing to risk that one day I wouldn’t have.
Also, you can text on wifi. She probably bought the wifi package
Seems Like An Accidentˀ
“Not a jerk. From your description, it was an accident, and you seemed to have tried everything to apologize and explain the situation. In my opinion, she did behave badly. Not able to communicate (neither with you nor with the flight attendant) normally.”
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This article originally appeared on Mrs. Daaku Studio.