A user asked, Am I wrong for not putting my kid in the other room when my friend came over?
Backstory
The Original Poster (OP) is a 33-year-old woman with a 9-month-old that is crawling. He is everywhere and into everything. OP says she has a playpen he often goes in and will put him in his crib for naptime.
OP has a friend (32F) who is pretty vocally child-free, and they came over to plan for another friend’s bachelorette party. OP was holding my son when she arrived.
What Happened Next?
She arrives, comes in, and OP can tell she is uncomfortable.
OP says, “I’m holding him, and she asks me if I can put my son in a different room. I say no…my husband is golfing and awake, so I want to watch him. I put him in the nearby playpen, but he is just doing the happy baby yelling.”
What Did The Friend Say?
OP’s friend mentions how the last time OP came to her place, OP asked her to put her dog in another room. OP told her that is very different, and she will leave him in his playpen.
She starts arguing with OP, and OP tells her she can leave and they can do this some other time. So she does and calls OP a jerk on her way out. Was OP, though?
Why is She Your Friend
“She wanted you to put your 9-month-old, unsupervised and awake, in another room? And she compared it to a dog?
Why is this person your friend? Not wrong”
You Are Right
“Not a jerk. Under no circumstances can you just put a crawling baby in another room unsupervised! Your “friend” is a nut job to think that is even in the realm of options. Your baby is nothing like her dog; your baby could die if left alone. And what the hell was he even doing that was so upsetting to her? Existing in her presence? She needs to get a grip.”
She Is A Bad Friend
“Not wrong. I’m also what one might call “vocally childfree.” That doesn’t mean I hate children, and even if it did, that wouldn’t be an excuse to be a jerk to them. Just because your “friend” doesn’t want to be a mother doesn’t mean she gets to shame your choice or disrespect a baby.”
Your Friend Is Rude
“Not a jerk, your “friend” was being rude.”
A Dog Can Be Left Unattended
“A dog can be left unsupervised for a time. A puppy cannot. A young child can be left with distant supervision. A baby cannot. She should know this. I’m child-free. I don’t ask my friends to put their babies up like toys they don’t play with when I’m there.
She could have simply asked that you make sure not to hand the baby off to her. If being that close was that bothersome to her, she should have politely expressed that you could do it another time preferably when your husband could be there to watch the baby.”
Your Friend Is Strange
“Your child is not a pet. Your friend is really strange to compare a baby to a dog.”
Why Is She Your Friend
“I would heavily reconsider whether you want this person as your friend. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be child free (I certainly don’t want a kid and have held fast to this desire my entire life) but that never gives someone the right to make demands of others who have kids just because they don’t want to be around them.”
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