While it is common for upper-middle-class families to have maids, people from more modest backgrounds may not understand the concept. This is the case with the man’s girlfriend, who wants him to fire his maid, but he refuses.
A user asked the forum, “Am I a jerk for not wanting to fire my maid to please my girlfriend?”. Read the complete story to know more.
BACKSTORY
The Original Poster (OP) (M25) has been in a relationship with Amy (F23) for nearly three years, and they started to live together two months ago in his apartment.
He says that he loves her and everything was going well until that argument.
HIS PARENTS HAD A MAID TO HELP
He says that he was very lucky to be born into a rich family, so his parents used to have a maid to do the housework, Maria (57F).
WHAT WAS THEIR RELATIONSHIP WITH MARIA?
He says that she has been working for his parents since he was seven and became a family friend.
He says that they were all invited to the wedding of her daughter.
HIS PARENTS TOOK RETIREMENT
OP says that last year, his parents took a well-deserved retirement and enjoyed some trips, visiting family, etc., so since last year, they have spent very little time at home, so Maria didn’t have much work to do in their home.
His parents proposed to have Maria as a maid for his apartment.
WHAT DID OP DO?
He says that he gladly approved because he loves Maria, and usually, he is exhausted after work, so he thinks that it is nice to have someone to take care of the home.
He says that Maria was also happy to keep working for them.
WHAT DID HIS PARENTS INSIST?
His parents insisted on covering the whole wage of Maria until the end of his residency, even if he could do it (she earns about 2.5 times the minimum salary in my country)
He says that Amy comes from a more modest background and doesn’t understand the principle of having a maid.
HOW WAS HIS GIRLFRIEND’S BEHAVIOR?
He says that her girlfriend doesn’t want Maria to iron her clothes or tidy her stuff. He thought she wasn’t used to it, but Amy seemed to dislike Maria for some reason.
THE ISSUE STARTED
The previous day, Maria came to work and especially cleaned the bathroom. Amy was supposed to be at work, but she was showering and didn’t put the lock, you know, the rest.
WHAT DID HER GIRLFRIEND DO?
He says that Amy got angry at Maria and yelled at her.
WHAT DID MARIA DO?
Maria called him to explain the incident; she told him that she apologized and tried to say that she thought Amy was at work and that she rang the bell before entering with her key.
WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
When he came home, Amy was still angry; she said Maria was sneaky and creepy and that he should fire her and they should just split chores.
He tried to calm her down and told her that maybe she was overreacting, but she was having none of it.
WHAT WAS OP’S FINAL DECISION
OP says that he doesn’t want to ditch Maria; he says that he has total trust in her; she is almost family to him.
Also, he says that he knows he sounds a bit lazy, but both Amy and he have pretty demanding jobs, so dealing with chores after work would be tiring.
WHAT DID HIS GIRLFRIEND SAY?
Furthermore, it would, without a doubt, upset his parents. He tried to explain all of this to Amy, but she called him egotistical and lazy; she said he chose Maria instead of her and her comfort.
He says that she is now giving him the cold shoulder. He felt bad about this, so he talked about it with his friends. He says some side with him, but a few also say he was wrong.
He also says that he was a bit torn. OP asks if he is a jerk.
THERE IS NO PROBLEM WITH IT
“Not a jerk.
You are in a residency program and are understandably tired. Your family wants to help you and help Maria, something they can afford to do.
I honestly don’t see the problem. Suppose the problem is that you are wealthier than Amy. In that case, that problem is not going to go away, and I’m pretty sure that you want to continue living what is probably an American upper-middle-class lifestyle.
Amy is going to have to adjust, or I don’t see how this can work out.”
SHE DOESN’T SHOW COMPASSION
“Amy shows no compassion to people who you deem as trustworthy and have been with you for a while. You are getting a preview of what she’s like when she doesn’t get her way. The way she yelled at Maria shows how she treated people. You’re not a jerk. She is.”
IT IS HER INFERIORITY COMPLEX
“Not a jerk – my heart breaks for Maria, who was just trying to do her job.
Your GF’s inferiority complex over your family’s ability to afford a maid isn’t your problem, and she should not be taking it out on Maria.”
SHE CAN MOVE OUT
“Your arrangement with Maria is a long-standing one, and Amy needs to accept it, or she can move out. It’s OK if your girlfriend wants to take care of her own personal stuff, but she gets no say about the rest of the house.”
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This article was originally published on Mrs Daaku Studio.