Is the number of friends someone has something to brag about? Especially for a 25-year-old adult male? Well, you’re not imagining things. We have a story about just such an incident for you today.
Recently, an internet user asked, Am I a jerk for “making fun” of my girlfriend’s lack of friends?
Backstory
OP (25M) loves his girlfriend (24F). She is chill, funny, and kind. Recently they got into a heated discussion because of something he pointed out.
What Does OP Say
OP says, “When I first met her, I realized she wasn’t very social. She likes to spend nights alone (I understand because she does work a lot) , and isn’t very outgoing. She’s not anti-social though, just a bit reserved.”
Who’s Got The Bigger Gang?
OP’s girlfriend doesn’t have a big friend group. Himself on the other hand, he has about 25 friends. Ten very close friends. She only has two girlfriends, and the three of them only hang out every other week.
What Does OP Say
OP says, “Maybe it’s because I came from a small town where everybody knows each other and comes from a more populated area. I thought it was a red flag, though, since I’ve had the same friends since early childhood.”
What Happened Before Her Birthday Last Week?
For his girlfriend’s birthday last week, OP tried to put together a party and asked her who she wanted to invite, and she only said those two friends. For his party, he was planning on having 25+ people.
What Did OP Say?
OP said, “That’s it?” And mentioned casually when they talked about growing up in his town that a girl who went to high school with us got made fun of for only having 1-2 friends. She told him, “So it’s a problem I only have two friends? People haven’t counted friends since high school.”
What Does OP Say
In OP’s defense, he says, “I wasn’t counting friends. I was saying. Before I met her, I frequently hung out with my friends. They go out for dinner or have sleepovers every other week. MAYBE once a week.”
What does OP Say
OP also says he didn’t mean to make her feel bad and just made an observation. Is he a jerk? What do you think?
GOSH, YOU’RE FREAKING 25!!!
“I find it incredibly sad that you’re 25 sitting around talking about how many friends you have or how someone in high school got bullied for not having a ton of friends.
You’re 25. it’s time to move on.” Said one.
Dude, You’re Straight Up Being Judgemental
“When you’re “just making an observation” that draws a parallel between your gf, and someone everyone thought was weird, you’re implying she’s weird. The entire tone of your post implies that she’s weird. Stop judging your GF’s social life.
Oh and by the way: once people start getting married and having kids, the chances of you keeping close with all of your current friends is almost zero. Eventually, most of us end up with just a couple of good friends if we’re lucky. So enjoy yours while you have them and stop acting superior to your gf. She’s happy. That should be enough for you.”
Quality Over Quantity Is An Unsaid Rule
“Adult friendships are quality over quantity. She’s right; people SHOULD stop counting friends in high school.” Said one.
“Honestly, if he thinks his “25 friends and 10 close friends” are all actually friends…he’s wrong. Adult friendships are so very different than high school and early 20s lol he is in for a rough awakening,” Another added.
External Validation Is A Red Flag
“If you need to be in a group this big, you need a lot of external validation. That would be a red flag to me.” Said one.
This is it, right here!! It’s just like the need for social media, all about validation. Especially with your obsession with the number of friends that people have.”
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This article originally appeared on Mrs. Daaku Studio.