She planned a dinner party for her friends and agreed to cook, but her boyfriend invited more people without consulting her, making it difficult for her to manage. A user asked the forum, “Am I a jerk for wanting my boyfriend to cook after he invited more people than planned?”.
We want to hear from you.
BACKSTORY
The Original Poster (OP) (23F) and her boyfriend (25M) were supposed to host a dinner for another couple they met on vacation.
She says that she was supposed to be in charge of cooking. Two days ago, before going to work, her boyfriend told her that he forgot to tell her about also having invited their neighbors along with their three children for dinner the same day.
HOW DID OP FEEL?
She was kinda annoyed that he didn’t ask her first, but whatever, she said okay, and told him, “Next time, ask me if I’m okay with it first.”
HE MADE THE SAME MISTAKE AGAIN
She says that after coming home from work the same day, he tells her that he invited two of his colleagues and that they’ll come with their wives and kids.
They have one kid each, so that’ll make two more children.
WHY WAS OP UPSET?
She got upset when he told her this because he invited six more people without asking her first, again.
WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
He also told her she needed to make a different dish for his colleagues’ kids because they wouldn’t like what she planned to cook.
She told his boyfriend that he needed to be the one cooking because she didn’t want to anymore. He asks her why, as she initially agreed to cook.
WHAT DID OP SAY?
She said she initially agreed to cook for four people, not 15.
She added that it’ll be easier for him to cook for 15 people anyways because he has his whole afternoon free while she would be working until 4 pm.
WHAT DID HER BOYFRIEND FEEL?
However, her boyfriend doesn’t agree and thinks it’s unfair of her to have agreed to cook just to take it back last minute.
WHAT WAS OP’S FINAL DECISION?
She said she would be okay to help with the kids’ food once she returned from work, but he needed to do the rest.
HE STARTED THREATENING
She says he doesn’t want to do it and even threatens to cancel the whole thing if she isn’t cooking. She asks if she is a jerk.
She also asks if she should be the one cooking still as she was supposed to cook from the beginning or is it only fair that he cooks for the additional 11 people he invited?
LET HIM DO WHATEVER HE WANTS
“Threatening “to cancel? Girl, at this point, he should either cancel, ask him to cook himself or order food for everyone. He invited more people AFTER you told him not to do that anymore without checking in with you first.
That was deliberate. He wanted to show you who’s in control, and now he’s trying to make you think you’re the one being difficult. If I were you, I wouldn’t come home after work.
I’d go out to eat somewhere alone or with friends and spend a nice evening while reevaluating my relationship.”
LET HIM LEARN
“He’s not considering the work involved in cooking for all these extra people, so let him learn.”
IT IS NOT RIGHT TO INCLUDE CHILDREN IN A PARTY
“Also, I’d be super annoyed if a couple invited us to dinner, then all of a sudden, it was a huge group, including kids. That just changed the vibe.”
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