To avoid being fired, it is essential to perform well in your new job.
A user asked the forum, “What is the fastest way you’ve seen someone get fired?” Here are the common responses.
REFUSED TO DO THE DISHES
“My first job was in a small grocery store, and my boss asked a coworker to do the dishes in the bakery (baking pans, etc.). She replied: “I only do my own dishes; somebody else put these here, so I’m not doing them. I’m serious. Fire me if you want; I won’t do them.”
The boss says, “Okay then, don’t bother finishing your shift. Goodbye!”
BRAGGING
“New person got access to the medical records system. Week 2 – we looked up our boss and bragged about it, was walked out and gone the second week.”
STEALING LUNCH
“First day at work, hired by a temp agency. Me and one other guy. We put stuff in boxes, tape them shut, and stack boxes on a pallet. He can’t keep up, can barely use a tape gun, and decides it’s time for a break.
Goes to the lunch room and takes a lunch. It was the boss’s lunch; he stole the guy’s meal his wife had prepared for him. A boss man came over 15 minutes later and wanted to know who ate his BBQ, sticky fingers, and BBQ on his shirt. He denies it. I just looked at him and the boss and said well, I hope it was good, man.”
EXPLAINING THE LOOPHOLE TO EARN EXTRA MONEY
“Had a coworker explain to our supervisor how he found this great loophole for making extra money: if a customer had exact change, he’d just pocket the cash and cancel the order on the register.”
PLAYING VIDEO GAMES
“I worked at an ISP back in the 90s and had a guy working the late shift. Found out quickly he wasn’t answering the phone at all, but just playing video games. He was warned. The next day, he walks in to work with a Voodoo2 graphics card to install on his work computer to improve the game playing. Fired before he sat down.”
SELLING AMWAY AT THE OFFICE
“Had a supervisor start selling Amway from his office, hinted at favorable treatment for anyone who would buy. Reported him to HR–and when they asked if it was true, he pulled out a catalog and tried to sell them something. Fired on the spot.”
LETTING A KID DRIVE THE BUS
“A colleague let a middle school kid drive the bus. Buh-bye!”
STEALING MONEY
“Half an hour. Working in Arby’s, a new girl shows up. They run her through how to work the cash register on a few dummy orders. She takes a real order or two, and then it gets slow. She asked to duck out for a minute to smoke and never came back.
The register ended up being $100 short that day.”
NOT FINISHING THE ASSIGNMENT AND BEING LATE
“I was on a new team hired for corporate sales. They trained us as a group. We were given the task of creating a presentation with graphs and charts to show how we presented to a group and given pointers on how to improve.
One guy shows up an hour late, waltzes in, and says he’s tired from the drive-in and says he needs a coffee before settling in. We are in a suit and tie, and he’s wearing a dress shirt with a huge eagle on the front and jeans.
He comes back a few minutes later, and when asked to present, he says he didn’t prepare anything, but he’s happy to answer any questions they may have about presentations. We all looked at each other in disbelief. Fired on the spot by the manager.
I heard that they asked him to return his laptop, and he stiffed them for months before they sent a repo man to his door to pick it up.”
THREATENING TO KICK THE COWORKER
“Dude’s first day, on a team next to mine, gets an assignment; as soon as the lead leaves the area, he leans over to another guy and threatens that if he doesn’t do his work for him, he’s going to kick him after work.
I got up to the manager, walked over, and escorted him out. He was there all of 2 hours.
On his way out, he’s knocking over chairs and screaming that he’ll be ‘waiting for us in the parking lot.'”
CHUGGED THE FOOD IN FRONT OF CUSTOMERS
“Worked in a restaurant, and when the table wanted to return their Mai Tai, the server chugged it right in front of them and said, ‘It tastes fine.'”
CAME DRUNK TO THE OFFICE
“New IT guy at a (small—20 employees) newspaper I worked at.
I showed up early and opened the office. The new IT guy showed up next for his first shift. He was totally, utterly drunk: lurching, stumbling, reeking, giggly, and slurring at 8:15 AM. Way beyond a hangover.
Confessed that he’d had a “couple of drinks last night” to celebrate his new job.
The managing editor came in and paged IT guy into his office to talk about the job. I hadn’t said a word to anyone about him. “Give him enough rope” and all that.
He was finished by 9:15.
I walked home through downtown around 5:00 that afternoon. Ran into IT guy outside one of those old men’s dive bars (he was maybe 28). He was all drunk again. Told me he’d had a couple of drinks to mourn the loss of his new job.
Don’t remember his proper name: I’d like to find his LinkedIn to see what became of him.”
STUMBLING NAMES
“I worked at the head office of a well-known retailer. One day, we had a temp at the reception desk, and no one realized that the bottle of water on her desk was, well, not water.
As the day went on, the tannoy announcements got worse, just stumbling through names and slurring. Needless to say, everyone thought this was funny, not realizing that she was bladdered.
Come the end of the day, though, she gets into her car and attempts to drive out of the car park, bouncing off cars and eventually coming to a halt on a grass verge.”
FILMING WOMEN’S BATHROOM
“He filmed from under the door of the women’s bathroom. I don t understand how it’s possible to do this.”
YELLING AT BOSS
“Got yelled at for being late. Said some insane words to the boss over it, got sent to talk with HR, threatened HR with his gun, then the police showed up, and I never saw him again.
You’ll never guess what career he really wanted but got ‘scammed out of.'”
STEALING FOOD
“Worked at a grocery store a few years ago. A new guy was hired, and on the second day on the job, he was caught stealing food.
He would grab items off the shelves, walk to the break room, and eat them.”
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This article was originally published on Mrs. Daaku Studio.