An internet user recently asked, What is your job, and how can I (a regular guy) make it easier?>
OP inquires about small gestures to improve people’s days, like pre-stacking plates for waiters, using exact change or credit cards for cashiers, placing trash properly for garbage collectors, and seeking advice from police officers on neighborhood safety.
We’ve compiled the best 16 responses for you below:
Surgical Tech In An Operating Room
“Surgical Tech in an operating room. Listen to your doctors, and DO NOT eat or drink before you come for your surgery. We don’t tell you that to mess with you. If there is any food in your stomach, it will cause the production of acid, and when we take the breathing tube out at the end there is a possibility you will reflux some of that crap and aspirate it, which can cause aspiration pneumonia and kill you. It’s not worth the biscuit and coffee.
Also, if you use drugs, TELL THE ANESTHESIOLOGIST. We don’t care that you smoke pot, or do coke, or sniff flea farts, or whatever. What we do care about is the interaction of what you are taking with the myriad drugs we are giving you which can also kill you so be honest.”
Locomotive Engineer
“Locomotive engineer here. Don’t try and beat the train. Don’t go around the gates. When you are at a station, hold your damn kid’s hand. Please don’t jump in front of a train. You will be in zip locks, not body bags. It messes us up. And for those who have hit someone, time off due to trauma is unpaid.”
Custodian
“Custodian. Please poop inside the toilet.” Said one.
“My boyfriend is an elementary school custodian, and the horror stories that I’ve heard… I appreciate you, and everything that you do, so so much.
Thank you!” Another added.
Firefighter/Paramedic
“Firefighter/Paramedic. Ask yourself before you call 911, is it faster to just go to the hospital? Cause I guarantee it’s cheaper. Pull to the right for flashing lights. Get at least one fire extinguisher in your house, and a CO/smoke detector for each room. Pull to the goddamn right for flashing lights.”
Nurse
“Nurse. Stop lying about your medical history when you come into the hospital.” Said one.
“Yes! And know your medications: name, dosage, and how often you take them. If you have a ton and can’t remember them all, then bring them in a big baggie when you come to the hospital. In their original containers, please. And then don’t swallow any of those pills from home while in our care (you think I wouldn’t have to say this, but it’s been a problem for several of my patients).” Another added.
Full-Time Programmer
“I’m a programmer full-time. If something doesn’t work, don’t tell us that it just “doesn’t work.” We *love* people who give us a ton of information on what happened beforehand. It helps us help you much, much more.
I am also, occasionally, a host for dating events. Come in looking like you actually want to meet people and don’t hate your life instead of treating it like another work meeting.”
Baggage Handler For An Airline
“I am a baggage handler for one of the major airlines.
Don’t overpack your bags, and make sure you can shut everything tight. We have bags that burst open daily because people over-pack and ghetto-rig their bags shut.
Also, we can see you staring at us through the windows upstairs. I pose for people, sometimes they take pictures of me.”
Lifeguard
“Lifeguard. Don’t talk to us when the pool is super busy. We aren’t even supposed to talk to anyone at all but if it’s a dull day and there are only the regular lap swimmers who I know won’t die right away, it’s okay to talk for a little. Oh yeah and lap swimmers, don’t complain about having to share lanes. You learned to share when you were five years old, it doesn’t cease to be common courtesy when you have more years under your belt.
If you have kids, watch them! You would be surprised how many times parents have no idea where their kid is. I’ve saved a kid and his mom didn’t know for almost 10 minutes. That’s unacceptable. If you watch your kids, you’ll know where they shouldn’t be in the water and when they’re struggling if they went too far.”
Dish Room Worker
“I work in a dish room on a college campus. We have a window where the diners bring their trays and such. Just say: “Thank you.” It makes the day a lot better when people actually acknowledge our existence.”
Pizza Delivery
“Pizza Delivery. Have your money ready and answer the door, please. Also, make sure your doorbell works.
If you order pizza, you obviously know I’m coming so turn the damn lights on. I have a flashlight in the car though because, well, I need it.
I’ve been ringing the bell and knocking every time for a while now. It’s just surprising how many doorbells don’t work.”
DNA Paternity Tester
“DNA Paternity tester. There are two options to make this easier.
- Don’t have unprotected intercourse with random people, or carnies.
- If you have had unprotected intercourse and now have a child, please remember to bring the child with you when you come in for testing.”
Security Guard
“Security guard. Don’t be a jerk. I’m just trying to get through my 8 hours, collect a paycheck and go home. I don’t ***want*** to be a security guard, it’s just what I do. I have dreams and aspirations, too.
If you need help, come and ask. The sound in someone’s voice when they say “Oh, you’re just a security guard, you can’t help” is really disheartening. I get so much crap because of the uniform I wear. I’m a damn person. I have brains. I’m not a jerk if you’re not. I am not a wannabe cop.
If I ask you to do something, it’s for your safety, or the safety of others. I’m not on a power trip. I’m not just being a jerk. I have supervisors and clients and regulations that I need to enforce. Just do what I ask, please.
Thanks!”
Bartender
“I’m a bartender. Don’t give me crap for asking for your ID. Don’t try and convince me to double up your shot for free. It’s not funny, especially when you’re buying your tenth jager bomb.”
Customer Service
“Customer service, don’t be a jerk. The person you’re talking to probably had NOTHING to do with whatever problem you’re having.” Said one.
“Also, if you’re nice I am more inclined to actually try and help you and even go out of my way to solve issues. If you’re a jerk I’ll probably just do the bare minimum.” Another added.
Accountant
“Accountant – Fill. Out. Your. Form. In its entirety. We don’t ask you for additional information for funsies. Also, bring what we asked for. You know that folder I made you last year with, literally, everything I will need? Please bring it.”
Department Store Shelf Stocker
“As a department store shelf stocker, please refrain from leaving items across the damn store from where you got them. I don’t know why someone decided to leave ceramic dining plates from domestics/housewares all the way over in groceries but knock. It. Off.”
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This article was originally published on Mrs. Daaku Studio.