Not all red flags are created equal. Some are deal-breakers, while others are just minor annoyances. A user asked the forum, “What’s a red flag you don’t mind so much in a potential SO?”
Here are some responses he got!
DATING HISTORY
“A certain type of dating history. Everyone has their style of dating.”
NOT HAVING A LOT OF PRIOR RELATIONSHIPS
“Not having a lot of prior relationships (as an older person). When I met my husband, he was 34 and had had only one serious relationship up until that point, which was 15 years prior.”
SOMEONE WHO ISN’T CLOSE TO THEIR OWN FAMILY
“Someone who isn’t close to their own family. I’m not close to mine, either. It was refreshing to be with someone who understood and felt the same way.”
HOW A MAN TREATS HIS MOTHER
“How a man treats his mother is a sign of how he’ll treat you, so be careful or if he dislikes his mom, doesn’t want to help, be there for her, or talk wrong about her. It could be because she’s horrible, and it’s just a sign of how she treated him.”
NOT BEING VERY COMMUNICATIVE
“Not being very communicative or chatty through text. Some people aren’t into texting.
I dated a guy who was like that. At first, I took his lack of communication and short answers as not being interested… when, in reality, he wasn’t much of a texter. I just accepted that’s how he was. In person, he was great.”
LACK OF SOCIAL MEDIA
“I’ve been told my lack of social media is a major turn-off and red flag. But I find a guy with no social media or very little attractive. It’s all about perspective.”
MILD POSSESSIVENESS
“I don’t mind some mild (MILD) possessiveness. I think it’s kind of hot. I blame all the Wattpad stories I consumed during my formative years.”
DESPERATE ENOUGH TO IGNORE MOST RED FLAGS
“I’m genuinely desperate enough to ignore most red flags.”
SINGLE FOR A LONG TIME
“Someone single for a long time! I find jumping from partner to partner more concerning. Some people never figure out who they are on their own.”
CLINGINESS
“I like it when she always wants to be around and under me.”
ABSORBED IN THEIR HOBBIES OR THEIR WORK
“Absorbed in their hobbies/their work. I love that. Go buck wild, even if it’s obsessive. Also, because, bruh, I have a terrible rest/production ratio. I need someone who understands.”
SOMEONE WHO NEEDS THEIR SPACE
“Someone who needs their space. Maybe a lot of space. I describe my perfect relationship model as a Binary Star system. Unfortunately, I’ve found that many men (I’m a woman, FWIW) are a little too protective/possessive or something along those lines to let this work.”
CONTROLLING AND WANTS THINGS DONE THEIR WAY
“Married a medical student who is a little Controlling and wants things done their way. I don’t mind it less on my plate.”
MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES
“Someone with mental health issues. I screened for that when I was dating. Hubs had one depressive episode in his life. Meanwhile, I struggle a lot with it. But just him having the one episode allows him to know somewhat what I go through and be there for me in a way someone who never experienced depression couldn’t.”
NOT HAVING FRIENDS
“No friends. No family contact. Because those are all the things I’m currently dealing with by choice. Friends just faded, and I realized I was the only one putting in the effort. And my family is highly toxic and one-sided. So, I would look at it more as a green flag. But in a relationship right now with someone who is the opposite of me, sometimes it’s a struggle. But it’s workable.”
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This article was originally published on Mrs Daaku Studio.